Life is a dark night.

Unlike light, Darkness is a revealer. Put on the light and the real, significant things get hidden behind flashy materials. You shed light on real things and people will look at what they want to see. Light is a symbol of illusion, of deceiving. Even though it reveals things, it doesn’t reveal the real content of what lies in there.

It is a darkness that reveals the real things. The real content of people, of your character, your traits, your unconscious self. The self that you have been trying to look away from. Or the self that you have never thought existed within you. The darkness is much of a revealer. It doesn’t conceal flaws. Neither does hide shadows.

It casts a shadow of your fear, your insecurities.

I have seen myself knowing unbearable but important truths when something was missing. When it seemed dark and dim. That’s when I got time to reflect. That’s when things beneath my elusive selves came out.
When the time was hard, it reveals people’s motives, characters.

Well, when it comes to light. It distracted me, made me focus on things that never really mattered. I partied. I talked. But I never saw things as they were, I couldn’t see things in their entirety.

Because the things seemed to me as per my mood, my situation. The brighter the day, the brighter my vision to look at things.

Even though we can complain of darkness to take out our vision, but it is the one that gives us the right vision to see things in their entirety. But if we have the habit of looking at things from that elusive lens, then this darkness would take out our eyes and give us a depressing version of reality. But if you are aware of how it is trying to tell you truth that you didn’t see, then you’d be able to see them more clearly.

The real, significant truths are shown to those who dare to see in that darkness. The same darkness that snatches our ability to see the brightness is the one that shows the illusion and reality of the elusive lens we are wearing. So when you are back in the light, you are more aware and conscious of yourself, of everything.

If you would look that when we are indulged in activities of pleasure, we are not aware. It takes away our consciousness. But when it comes to pain, pain draws our attention to the moment. In pain, every moment we are aware and alert. That alertness is important when it comes to living life with meaning. Because your meaning can get swayed away in the illusion of light and pleasures, but the darkness will come as a rescue for your destiny. While that might not be true for everyone. People react differently to light and darkness.

Some would be as calm in the darkness as in the light, because they didn’t treat light as a means to move, as a means to show them the path. Now that there is darkness, they are as aware and conscious of where they should lay their leg as if there was light.

Some would come up with extreme reactions and would scream the moment the darkness comes in. They would wish to know where they had put the light and torch. They would wish they were a little more prepared. These are the one that expects life to give them a preparation leave before it pulls the light off. While we are meant to prepare every day, every single moment.

This darkness that I am talking about. It isn’t as dark. It feels dark. Because of its nature. Because at these times, you can’t see what’s ahead of you. You cant place your hand on the right thing. But the right people will always get back to you to pick your hands.

This darkness feels like a devil because of its uncertain nature. Of how we are not very sure of anything. We aren’t sure if we even would be able to get through this moment. Or if there is any light at the end.

Why do we need light so much? And what advantage does it give that we are always waiting for it in the darkness? Light gives us certainty. This light gives us the vision to see beyond this moment. Or rather give us this illusion of knowing.

It gives us the security of knowing what the next moment hold. This light is only about being secured and being able to see things in their place. And it has nothing to do with things being in their places. They still are in the darkness too. We just aren’t able to lay our eyes on them for the security our inner self is seeking.

We just can’t lay our eyes on the present scenarios. We can’t decide what is it that is happening around us. And that makes us insecure. It is not the things that aren’t happening around us. They are. Good or bad. We cant see them. Because of our inability to see them, we feel fear of what the future holds. Because we can’t see what the present holds.

But life is like that. In reality. We don’t know what the future holds. But we try to make illusions about it based on the present. Based on the light the present provide. We try to shed some light on the next moment in our mind’s eyes. And try to go into it.

But despite our trying to shed the light. The light of the present can never reveal the future. Life is like that. That’s why we are living in a dark night. Where no one knows that what is it that the next step holds. So we must neither be afraid nor anxious about the future. The next step holds what it holds. I am going to make the move nevertheless. Because my responsibility is to move as this time moves. It is never to try to shed light on the future.

If we learn to enjoy this mystery. This darkness. Then nothing can shatter us. Because we aren’t expecting the future to be in a certain way. We didn’t have enough images about the future to compare it with. Nor did we had enough light to see its flaws.

We just moved with excitement. And saw every move as a first move. A fresh new move. What is gone is gone. I am also not going to take a picture of the next moves with what my past moves have been. I am not going to attach myself with the outcomes I got before with the outcomes I am going to get after.

This dark night will no longer be as threatening as it normally looks if I don’t expect the night to end. But rather become comfortable being in it. That I no longer need life to give me any certainty and starts to enjoy this dark night where I don’t even know where should I put my next step. Initially, I will panic for I wish there was some light to show me the path, but with time I will start to enjoy this process of moving in this dark night. I will my home in the darkness.

Originally published at http://sanarajarsite.wordpress.com on January 7, 2021.